“Edidiong! You’ve been avoiding me. Did I do anything that annoyed you?” Jeff asked immediately he picked my call.
“I just called to say that this friendship is over. I can’t be friends with a married man especially one that goes around flirting with girls and hiding his marital status.”
He took a deep breath, exhaled and then said calmly, “I wasn’t hiding my relationship or marital status. You never asked and it never occurred to me to tell you formally. Besides what’s wrong with being friends with you? I said it the last time that we spoke that I enjoy our conversations and you are a great friend to me. That’s all. I never asked you out, never made any sexual advances at you. I love my fiancée and I am not cheating on her, never will.”
“Oh! So you don’t see anything wrong with calling me regularly and talking for hours even when you are not single. Would you be comfortable if a guy is calling your wife almost every day and talking for hours?”
“So far as the conversations are decent and intellectual like ours are, I don’t mind. But really, what’s the big deal in calling you frequently and being your close friend?”
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“It seems you’ve never heard of emotional cheating before. You were not cheating with me physically, but the way you have been relating with me can be regarded as emotional infidelity. You were having an emotional affair with me when you are married.”
“I wasn’t having an emotional affair with you. I don’t even have feelings for you, so how can I be having an affair with you?”
Why doesn’t this guy just get me? I thought to myself. With impatience in my voice, I proceeded to explain further,
“When you are in a committed relationship or married, and then spend a lot of time with someone of the opposite sex who is not your partner, either physically or on the phone, that is a sign of an emotional affair.”
“Okay, I’ll stop calling frequently. But can we still be friends? Please,” Jeff pleaded.
“Jeff, I’m not interested in this friendship anymore. Period.”
“Edidiong, but why? I’m not asking you for sex or for anything immoral. I’m only asking to be your friend, that’s all. Okay, let’s do it like this; you can end the friendship if I ever ask for anything or say anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.”
“I’m already feeling uncomfortable. This is not about sex or whatever that is on your dirty mind.”
He was silent for a minute and then said, “Wait, were you thinking I was having feelings for you or interested in having a relationship with you? Or maybe I should ask it the other way round. Do you have feelings for me?”
I cleared my throat and said, “Jeff, I have to go now. Thanks for all the great moments that we shared and for being the wonderful friend that you have been to me. I really appreciate our friendship so far but I’m sorry, it has to end today. And congratulations on your wedding; I wish you a happy married life.”
I didn’t wait for him to respond as I hung up immediately. I buried my head under my pillows and cried my eyes out. I knew that being friends with Jeff may complicate things for me as I already have feelings for him. The best way for me to get over him was to end the friendship and move on with my life. I couldn’t bear the thought of being just friends with a guy I had already fallen for knowing that he had friend zoned me, and worst was that I would always be in the friend zone.
Did I overact? Was ending the friendship the right way for me to get over Jeff? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.
End Note: This is a fiction story series to be continued in the next blog post.